A Dispatch From Genghis Appleseed

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-hey, mat. sorry i got home so late last night. i know today was your first day of work, but i assure you that i was working hard in your interest throughout the night.

-first, remember that chick from bill's?
-the one with the boyfriend you spoke with on christmas eve?
-...the hot one?
-yeah. she said she's not working there anymore...
-yes, a shame indeed. well, before i could begin to execute plan b, she asked for your number, and i of course got hers in return. then i kicked her ass in pool and told her to message you anytime on my way out.
-your welcome.

-then dave, pat, and i headed over to club 259, that club we crashed on christmas eve.
-yeah it was cool. i told the people working there that i was santa and they smiled and shook my hand. there was a girl that worked there as a dancer and -
-yeah, she's paid just to dance with people - and she asked dave something in vietnamese but he couldn't hear, so she wrote it down but he still couldn't understand what it said. seizing this moment of vulnerability, i grabbed the paper, pretended to read it, and then said that i understood and asked her for her number.
-yeah, she was cute, but whatever they're paying her there it's too much, because she can't dance for shit.
-yes, i know that's the case with all of them, but the others aren't paid dancers. anyway, you'll have to forgive me because i gave her number to dave.
-well if it wasn't for him, she probably wouldn't have written anything down and - fuck him? but my orders are for girls... i don't understand.
-oh ok. well he probably has the best shot with this one because i think the only english she knows is "phone number."
-very well then, it won't happen again.

-oh and one last thing. after the club, we grabbed a bite to eat and then headed over to sahara.
-i know but it's the only place open that late. so there are these girls that work there...
-yes, working girls...
-of course not. we met them a few nights ago. only talked. nothing else, you know that. anyway, one is pretty cute and i kinda... uhhh. well... you see, i felt bad for them because they don't get as much business as the other girls there and it's mostly because they can't speak english so i sort of told them you'd teach them english and got her number.

...

-i seriously doubt you've 'made better decisions' while trying to find your face when you were tripping on mushrooms.
-yes, she knows it's not a 'transaction.'
-when? ummmmm... tonight. some time after you're done working and before she begins working.

...

-i apologize. i just figured since you're not getting any action from phuong, maybe you could-
-ok ok fine, i'm sorry... oh one more thing. the girls' madame is thao... retired working girl thao. and she still looks sexy...

[end of transmission]

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