Predictions...
are for morons to make, and idiots to believe. that being said, here are my predictions based on the outcome of the upcoming election:
1. either a member of the democratic or republican party will be elected president of the united states of america.
2. after the election, the vast majority of americans will continue to work more hours per year than the average citizen of any other industrialized nation in the world.
3. a vast minority of people throughout the world will continue to be willing to die for the purpose of destroying american property and lives.
4. your property and your life will not be destroyed by these people.
5. you would prefer if everything you own was more technologically advanced than it is now.
6. machines will eventually inherit the earth.
7. your vote will not affect the outcome of the election.
8. monkeys hurling feces at each other, with the weaker one having his face smeared in his own excrement, will continue to be funny.
9. i love y'all. peace, 'mout.
posted by mat @ 7:52 PM
3 Comments:
From Pt. Pepe Ramirez:
Greetings from your spleen! Just wanted to give you an update on the status of my fellow lymphocytes. The war is not going as planned. Sarge keeps telling us that there are reinforcements on the way, but we have a strong feeling that they may have been intercepted by enemy pathogens somewhere around the dooadenum. Don't know how much longer we can hold out without some major firepower coming our way.
We have however taken a few hostages and they've been deposited in the colon until we can learn more about them. We hope that we will find their weekpoint sometime within the next 2 weeks. All research has been slow lately because of the gigantic fucking tapeworm that's wreaking havoc down there. We surmise that he first appeared somewhere around the time you decided to eat that spicy "chicken." Well, I got news for you; it was really dog.
The bucket of water that you drank in the bathroom on your first day here was a bad move. It just sent thousands of more dinks down here and they killed, and devoured my friend Billy Johnson, Private First Class.
The point of this posting is that during the next election, you're getting voted out for doing this to us antibodies.
Regards,
Pt. Pepe Ramirez
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
so there you have it. my antibodies have in a stunning turn of events ousted me, mat, the soul controller, and apparently will be instituting some kind of interm government administrated by my own immune system. so i guess the only way to defeat these immunist bastards is to contract HIV...hold on ill be right back.
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