Mmmmm...Friends Fried With Beach: Part 1 Too Many

this weekend i left the block, went through the bush, and arrived at the beach town of Mui Ne to celebrate alison's birthday. along for the trip were my new friends carrie, minty, mike, and megan who have all quite easily replaced the people i used to call friends back in america. my upside down "friends," and i use the term as loosely as all of their moms, combined, i now consider unrefined commoners not worth the caviar i use to brush my teeth, which is actually giving them way more credit than those savages deserve because the caviar is truly extradectory.

ok so now that i've established who my real friends are, let me first say that i had to swallow my feelings of guilt for the trip because i was responsible for delivering alison the birthday presents from her delightful mother and failed miserably, leaving them at home with most of the other stuff i was supposed to give her. but i made up for it by uhhh...hmmmm well i haven't actually made up for it yet, but presumably the presents will arrive soon and belated birthday presents are just as good as birthday-delivered birthday presents right?

blehh so after a 5 hour bus ride we arrived sometime after midnight and about the only thing anyone was up for doing was drink the saki mike and alison had brought, which came in a jug bigger than all the jugs ever made, combined... and was enough to get us all nice and some [ahhkckk carrie] so nice that she didn't feel so nice in the morning. despite the temptation, i somehow managed not to say 'saki it to me' the entire night, which i feel is an accomplishment worthy of a sentence. we sat alone on the beach drunkily ranting and recanting, and when we began to pant we called it a night. we stayed in bungalows owned by a creepy, insane old swiss man... not to be confused with the bunghole of an old swiss man, which would just be creepy and unsanitary. i slept confidently and securely within the confines of a mosquito net, in which its presence alone always inspires my belief that there is absolutely no possible way i could ever get malaria here.

[will mat wake up with malaria, or just a bad hangover? does he fry his new friends and eat them for breakfast? will the creepy old swiss man do him in the bungalow? find out tomorrow]