Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Blanket Birthdays in a Snow-Cloaked Dream

january's a big month for birthdays. not only does it contain the birthday of every american president in history (all on the same day nonetheless!), but also many of my friends' birthdays, as well as the birthday of martin luther king, junior. i don't know who that guy was... but somebody did, and had a dream about him. then one day this impossibly ambitious man actually made his dream a reality, and shot king in the head. i think that's wrong, which is why i believe that if you have a dream, you should just keep it to yourself...

unless you have a blog. for example, i dream about a big blizzard dropping a blanket of snow a foot thick all around me while i sit at home and complain about how i can't go out, as i think of ways to convince my mom that the roads are fine and everyone else is driving through it and so should i. and then she would threaten to make me shovel the whole damn driveway if i did go out and so i'd quickly search for some videogame or old movie to entertain me while i wander within the warm confines of my oh so comfortable cell.

it's ok though 'cause i have time to kill, watching the inches whiten on my window sill, thinking about how every night i ever went to sleep in conversation with god was to ask him for enough snow to close school the following day; and how my fingers would throb and writhe in pain as they thawed indoors after a gloveless snowball fight; and why my nose drippings left a snot-colored outline on my sleeves and if anyone ever noticed; and what snow plow drivers do for the other 360 days of the year; and if whoever made the first snowy effigy with a disproportionately-sized icicle-weiner did it for laughs or because he just wanted to see what it would look like.

but it's 5 am, and the roar of motorbikes racing up and down the street instantly inform me that today will not be a snow day. in fact, i have absolutely no time to kill because i have a class in 3 hours, and i haven't yet prepared for my 6 hours of teaching ahead of me today. but i can't unwrap myself from my blanket, turn off the a/c, and open my bedroom door because i know i'll be smacked in the face with a brash breeze of humid sneeze. i turn over and pull the blanket closer, "not yet..." not yet, so i snooze for another hour before awaking from these white-washed dreams.

I bought a stack of postcards within the first couple of weeks of being here and had one simple goal: to send out a handwritten note to my friends and families on their birthdays. i've written about 2 and a half, and now i can't remember what happened to them and the rest... but i know they didn't all write themselves, jump on a stamp, and walk over to america, though i wish they had.

it's been days now since my father's birthday and i simply haven't been able to get in touch with him, partly because of the time difference, and partly because we had a bad connection one night, but mostly because i don't have time to go to an internet cafe before i go to sleep or work. bad son. ange's birthday is today and it's the same deal; i know i won't be able to talk to her so the best i can do is send her an e-mail. lame brother, i know. then there's kelly's birthday, which i believe is the 18th, and adina's which is the 28th. jael's is either the 10th or the 11th (sorry bro, really late on this...) and steve poloskey's got a birthday in here somewhere as well. on top of all that, my friends/housemates euan (freebird) and tiana have both had birthdays this month, and i'm unsurprisingly late with a gift. i know i know, what an asshole... i'm sorry.

i know a blanket HAPPY BIRTHDAY is about as comforting as wrapping yourself in a block of ice, but given my recently obliterated free time it really is the best i can do... at least until i awake from this dream and come back home - a home that is now painted a frozen, blinding white. i apologize, but wish all the january babies the happiest of days they can call their own. peace, love y'all, 'mout.

7 Comments:

Blogger big matt said...

That "Somebody" was James Earl Ray, Matt, just FYI if you need some useless information. Useless because he's dead now too, so you don't have to watch out for him or anything.
Don't forget my Bday (That's Birthday abbreviated, not your newfound shitsprayer,) it's only 10 short days after the end of January; or 10 short days after the end of July if you go the route of birthday celebrating that you embarked down last year.
2005 is your declared "bitch" though, so you should resolve to get people's birthdays correct.

7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in the immortal words of Jay-Z and all homeless drunks: giiiiirls, giiiiiiiiiirls, giiiiiiiiirls

2:50 PM  
Blogger mat said...

dear dave,

in the immortal words of a white boy: you don't know shit about hip hop. and the worst part is, i'm almost positive i remember telling you that it was tip, not jay-z, who originally did that. stick to ordering me shit at restaurants, you viet cong biotch.

love,
mat

12:13 AM  
Blogger big matt said...

In the immortal words of an even whiter boy: "didn't Motley Crue do that song?"

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello, somehow randomly came upon your post -- i just got back yesterday from the nam and i can totally relate about the horns at the crack of dawn and the humid sneeze! =)

10:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The preferred position for sexual intercourse among the Vietnamese was both partners lying face to face, side by side, or the rear-entry position. The reason for these preferences, Jacobus X. (1898) suggests, is the structure of the Vietnamese bed, which is made of bamboo slates. In the missionary position, which he calls la position de l’amour classique, a man would scrape the skin off his knees."

http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/IES/vietnam.html

4:48 PM  
Blogger Avi Tinder said...

hey matchu... I forgot my password to the other name and Im not on my computer so I had to make another one but so I LOVE YOU and I miss you... mom says she hasnt heard from you in a while and I think I called 6313349819 last night when I was doped on Ambien... Ive been doing some real odd shit lately like sleep-walking around my apartment... the only reason I know is cause I woke up in Leslie's bed. When I tried to recall my actually sober night, nothing made sense... SO I asked... I said hey les, how come Im in your bed... she said I dont know you tip-toed all around my room like u were a creep... so after that and being up for 2 days I went to the doctor. She offered two things... the Ambien prescription and a prescription note to see the counselor on campus... then suggested I try yoga classes. Anyhow, Im glad I got to catch up on ur blog... Its been awhile... I had to go back to my website to get your blogg address bc my wireless port doesnt work on my computer... OH YEAH and neither does the driver window in my car... it copped out the day I had to drive back to Miami... now Im sure you aren't laughing yet... bc it is funny... but I HAD TO GET OUT FOR EVERY FUCKIN TOLL.
Today I had 2 beers, I made banana bread tonight with Cream Cheese frosting, and now Im at the library. In about 15 mins Ill be loopey from the pills... LOVE YOUUU


HOPE ALL IS GOOD

11:47 AM  

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